


Love is Toxic

by BekkaChaos



Series: Gallavich Drabbles [52]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Best Friends, Gallavich, M/M, post 3x11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 21:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1703537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BekkaChaos/pseuds/BekkaChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i><b>based on a prompt:</b>Ian talking to Mandy about why he likes Mickey so much, set right after she finds out about them in 3x11</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is Toxic

"I just… I don’t understand is all. Mickey? I mean… all this time, it’s been _Mickey_?” Mandy said as she paced back and forth in the alley.

Ian sat leaning against the wall, heart thoroughly crushed and pulverized after watching that sham of a wedding.

He just nodded, sometimes he didn’t even believe it himself. Sometimes he wondered what he ever saw in Mickey. And then they’d be together and everything would just fit, everything wouldn’t just feel so pure and he wondered how he could ever question what he felt for Mickey.

"Why would you bother putting yourself through that? I mean you’ve been together for what, two years? And he still married someone else, someone he _fucked_ by the way, shit Ian, I could have told you Mickey wasn’t worth the trouble before you even got into this mess,” she said.

"Its not like that, you don’t know the whole story." Ian said softly.

"Ian, he just got married."

"I know! Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I know he got married to the whore your dad hired to-" he inhaled shakily and put a hand to his head.

"That my dad what Ian?" Mandy asked and Ian knew that she knew nothing of the truth.

He sighed, “your dad caught us together a while back.”

"Holy shit…"

"You remember the day he pistol-whipped Mickey last month? He’s lucky he didn’t get fucking shot." Mandy looked like she was thinking back to that day, putting the pieces together in her mind. "He had her come over to fuck the gay out of him… and apparently it worked." He thought back to the steamy session they had shared just before the ceremony and tried desperately hard not to remember how Mickey’s lips felt against his, how rare it was for him to do.

No, Terry hadn’t succeeded in his plan to straighten out his son, but he had scared him to the point of marrying a knocked up hooker just to teach him a lesson.

"Did it though?" Mandy asked gently.

"What do you mean?" Ian asked as he looked up to face her.

"Well I haven’t exactly seen many happy relationships in this shitty back-water neighbourhood, but he sure as he’ll didn’t look happy up there saying his vows." She shrugged.

"He did it though, he still can’t admit that-" he cut himself short and sighed, leanings head back to slam against the wall.

"Why do you even like him so much? He’s a douchebag, you can do better." She said.

Part of him thought that she didn’t really believe that, but he knew she did. She just always hoped that Mickey could be someone worthy of affection from someone as wonderful as Ian.

"You don’t know him like I do, and yeah, I know he’s your brother but… he’s different when it’s just us. I wouldn’t say he’s nicer because, well he’s not really, he’s just… I don’t know how to explain it to you." He sighed.

"Try?"

"He’s an asshole, he’s rude, selfish, he’s the most emotionally unavailable person I have ever fucking met-"

"You like him because of all that?" Mandy raised an eyebrow.

"I don’t…" He sniffed a little and blinked back tears. "I love him Mandy, for all of it."

"Love?" She asked.

"He’s rough and cruel sometimes but he can’t fake what he feels, I know he loves me too, he’s just too fucking scared to admit it. And he’s not always like that, he let’s me be gentle with him sometimes, he gets jealous. He just gets me Mands, no one else knows me like that."

She nodded, still in shock about the whole thing. “Well he doesn’t love the Russian bride, you gonna talk to him?”

"Yeah, because that’s gonna work real well with him." He sniffed.

"So don’t take his shit Ian, fuck, tell him how you feel and just let him do what he wants with it," Mandy sighed. "Look, love is fucking toxic. It takes so much from us and we're just willing to get shit on over and over again because it's fucking worth it in the end. We just keep taking all the crap they give us because... well shit, we know that just one little moment of them loving us back is worth it. It shouldn't be worth it, right?"

She put her arm around his shoulder and rested her cheek against him, he leant back into her. "Shouldn't be," he agreed, but he couldn't deny her words.

The moments when he knew that Mickey loved him were like ecstasy, it didn't matter that things would inevitably come cascading down because in that one moment he could see exactly where he wanted to be for the rest of his life. He lived for those moments and he wasn't going to give them up.

"You know you've always got me, right?" She said softly and Ian smiled, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "I mean I know I might not be the Milkovich you were hoping to hear those words from... but you do."

"I know Mandy," he said.

"Mickey's an ass, but if he cares... he'll come back. You gotta give him time." 

"All we've ever had is time," Ian said. "I guess this time I have to wait for _him_ to come back to me." So they sat there for a while more in silence, Ian couldn't give up, He couldn't be just another person to give up on Mickey.

Mandy was right, the suffering was worth every little bit.


End file.
